This morning I read Psalm 6 and verse 2 really resonated.
"Have mercy on me, O LORD, for I am weak."
I am weak.
I never realized I was weak until the past two or three years. I always felt strong and able to do amazing things someday.
Then in the summer of 2008, for the first time in my life, I looked at myself as God saw me. I looked at my soul, with all its sin. I saw myself as completely, 100% sinner.
It was then I realized that I am weak.
Since then, God has changed my heart, He has shown me HOW GREAT AND LOVING AND POWERFUL HE IS! And how small and insignificant and worthless I am.
How amazed I am that He would choose to create me at all. That He would choose to love me as His child. That He would choose to use me to further His kingdom!
When I was strong and, in my own eyes, capable of doing things for God, He couldn't use me. He doesn't want the strong, the great, and the powerful. He wants to use the weak, the foolish things of the world to bring to shame those great things. He wants to use puny me to show the world that GOD IS GREAT because He used a nobody like me to bring glory to His name!
That's what I long for with every fiber of my being! To bring glory to my GOD!
But I must see my weakness, my nothingness, my helplessness. I must know that nothing I am doing is because of me..."Help me, O LORD, for I am weak!"
Bring glory to Your name, O Lord! "For when I am weak, then I am strong."