Understanding the Love

Do we really understand the love of Christ displayed on Calvary??? This poem by Amy Carmichael is very challenging and thought provoking.

If I belittle those whom I am called to serve, talk of their weak points in contrast perhaps with what I think of as my strong points; if I adopt a superior attitude, forgetting "Who made thee to differ? And what hast thou that thou hast not received?" then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I find myself taking lapses for granted, "Oh, that's what they always do," "Oh, of course she talks like that, he acts like that," then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I can enjoy a joke at the expense of another; if I can in any way slight another in conversation, or even in thought, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I can write an unkind letter, speak an unkind word, think an unkind thought without grief and shame, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I do not feel far more for the grieved Savior than for my worried self when troublesome things occur, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I can rebuke without a pang, then I know nothing of Calvary love.
If my attitude be one of fear, not faith, about one who has disappointed me; if I say, "Just what I expected" if a fall occurs, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I am afraid to speak the truth, lest I lose affection, or lest the one concerned should say, "You do not understand," or because I fear to lose my reputation for kindness; if I put my own good name before the other's highest good, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I hold on to choices of any kind, just because they are my choice, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I am soft to myself and slide comfortably into self-pity and self-sympathy; If I do not by the grace of God practice fortitude, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I myself dominate myself, if my thoughts revolve round myself, if I am so occupied with myself I rarely have "a heart at leisure from itself," then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If, the moment I am conscious of the shadow of self crossing my threshold, I do not shut the door, and keep that door shut, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I cannot in honest happiness take the second place (or the twentieth); if I cannot take the first without making a fuss about my unworthiness, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I take offense easily, if I am content to continue in a cool unfriendliness, though friendship be possible, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I feel injured when another lays to my charge things that I know not, forgetting that my sinless Savior trod this path to the end, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I feel bitter toward those who condemn me, as it seems to me, unjustly, forgetting that if they knew me as I know myself they would condemn me much more, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If souls can suffer alongside, and I hardly know it, because the spirit of discernment is not in me, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If the praise of others elates me and their blame depresses me; if I cannot rest under misunderstanding without defending myself; if I love to be loved more than to love, to be served more than to serve, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I crave hungrily to be used to show the way of liberty to a soul in bondage, instead of caring only that it be delivered; if I nurse my disappointment when I fail, instead of asking that to another the word of release may be given, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I do not forget about such a trifle as personal success, so that it never crosses my mind, or if it does, is never given room there; if the cup of flattery tastes sweet to me, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If in the fellowship of service I seek to attach a friend to myself, so that others are caused to feel unwanted; if my friendships do not draw others deeper in, but are ungenerous (to myself, for myself), then I know nothing of Calvary love.


If I refuse to allow one who is dear to me to suffer for the sake of Christ, if I do not see such suffering as the greatest honor that can be offered to any follower of the Crucified, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I slip into the place that can be filled by Christ alone, making myself the first necessity to a soul instead of leading it to fasten upon Him, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If my interest in the work of others is cool; if I think in terms of my own special work; if the burdens of others are not my burdens too, and their joys mine, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I wonder why something trying is allowed, and press for prayer that it may be removed; if I cannot be trusted with any disappointment, and cannot go on in peace under any mystery, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If the ultimate, the hardest, cannot be asked of me; if my fellows hesitate to ask it and turn to someone else, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I covet any place on earth but the dust at the foot of the Cross, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

That which I know not, teach Thou me, O Lord, my God.
-Amy Carmichael

(For lack of a better title) my life lately:)

I am sorry that I have been so woefully inconsistent with blogging lately. It has been and is a crazy time of year and of my life!
I finished school a week and a half ago, so that's WONDERFUL!
My graduation recital and open house is this Saturday, so the days have been (and will be through Saturday:) quite busy with preparation for that.
For the past several months, I've been compiling our family recipes into a cookbook, and we are in the final proofing stage! WAHOO! We hope to have a copy out at my open house so crunch time is here:)
This past weekend our youth group put on our annual Easter drama/musical, so we had practices for that at church. Also, on Saturday night, was our Junior/Senior Formal Banquet, which was a marvelous time!
Last week, also, was Holy Week, so we went to our first Passover Seder, and spent time meditating on what Christ has done for us! Our lives have the potential to be so wonderful because of what Christ completed at the cross! It is only our stubbornness and pride that keep us from fully enjoying the things God has given us to do:)
Because of the Cross and the Empty Tomb...I can live a hopeful, vibrant life! Crazy times of life like these shouldn't leave me with a bittersweet taste afterward because LIFE IS WORTH THE LIVING! I have a future ahead of me that has been perfectly planned since before the dawn of time! I am excited to see what this future will hold.
God has been faithful through all my years of home schooling. He will continue to be faithful in the next phase of my life...whatever that will look like:)
"The mind of man plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps." Proverbs 16:9

Day 6: What Child is This?

1. What Child is this who, laid to rest
On Mary's lap is sleeping?
Whom Angels greet with anthems sweet,
While shepherds watch are keeping?

This, this is Christ the King,
Whom shepherds guard and Angels sing;
Haste, haste, to bring Him laud,
The Babe, the Son of Mary.

2. Why lies He in such mean estate,
Where ox and ass are feeding?
Good Christians, fear, for sinners here
The silent Word is pleading.

Nails, spear shall pierce Him through,
The cross be borne for me, for you.
Hail, hail the Word made flesh,
The Babe, the Son of Mary.

3. So bring Him incense, gold and myrrh,
Come peasant, king to own Him;
The King of kings salvation brings,
Let loving hearts enthrone Him.

Raise, raise a song on high,
The virgin sings her lullaby.
Joy, joy for Christ is born,
The Babe, the Son of Mary.

This is one of my favorite Christmas songs!  I found this version of it interesting, since I had never seen different choruses to the different verses. The chorus to verse 2 is intriguing, in the sense that we don't usually meditate on the Cross at Christmas.
Nails, spear shall pierce Him through,
The cross be borne for me, for you.
Hail, hail the Word made flesh,
The Babe, the Son of Mary.


The Word made flesh, so that He could sympathize with our weaknesses and bear our punishment!  Good Christians, fear, for sinners here, the Silent Word is pleading!  
Christ came as a baby, God incarnate, destined for the cross.  The cross be borne for me, for you!  What wondrous Love!
Hail Him as the Word made flesh today!

The Path of Self Denial

 ‎"It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." - C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory


How many of us have deep enough desires to choose to deny self? I'm not talking about a "mountain-top experience" with God that lingers for weeks, maybe enough months, but the daily struggle of denying self and taking up the cross.  

"By faith Moses, when he was grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter, choosing rather to be mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin.  He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward."  (Hebrews 11:24-26) Our desires are not "too strong" to bear, they are too weak to see the blessings of choosing to denying ourselves!  

The Spirit must be trying to get my attention on this issue, because last night we talked about this struggle between the desires of the flesh and the godly desires that issue from a heart that loves and wants to serve God. Then later last night, a friend of mine sent me this link to a devotional on denying yourself and taking up the cross by John Wesley, and both of us were deeply challenged by it.  I would urge you to take the time to read it; it is well worth it.  

"I wonder how many believers today realize that faith is not merely believing the Christ died for our sins. Faith is also being confident that HIS WAY IS BETTER THAN SIN (emphasis mine). His will is more wise.  His help is more sure.  His promises more precious.  And His reward more satisfying.  Faith begins with a backward look at the cross, but it lives with a forward look at the promises...not just being sure of what He did do, but also being satisfied with what He will do." -John Piper

another puritan prayer

"Merciful Lord,

convince me that I cannot be my own God to make myself happy,

nor my own Christ to restore my joy,

nor my own Spirit to teach, guide, and rule me.

Take me to the cross and leave me there."

-Excerpt from a Puritan Prayer

our sin and the mercy of God

I realize that it’s been a while since I’ve posted. It might be another long while before I post again. My summer schedule is such that when I’m actually home (not working at camp, or on missions trip, etc), I need to spend time with my family.



What will God teach me this summer? I’m excited to find out! Getting out of normal routine and evaluating my heart and life in the light of the Word, not my circumstances, always reveals flaws in myself and calls me to cling more tightly to the Cross!

Last night at church, we were studying Martin Luther. He had a very great awareness of his depravity, but was not ashamed of it. Instead, he declared it boldly, because then he was closer to realizing how great is the love and mercy of Christ!

What he meant by that was not, “Let us sin that grace may abound!” But rather, “May the knowledge of our great sin help us to stand in awe of His great grace!”

He once said to a friend, “Sin boldly.” Also a confusing statement! Was he really advising his friend to sin?????? Certainly not! But he was urging him, that when he sinned, he should admit it, because why should the Holy One die for people who are not sinners?

We are all fallen, missing the mark, completely depraved. There is none righteous, no not one. When Adam sinned, he “polluted” the human race, as it were. We are now born sinners, deserving of eternal death and separation from God.

But now, we have the CROSS OF CHRIST! Now the fallen, dead sinners are lifted up (Eph 2:5 “even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus.”).

Our sinfulness reveals the mercy of God as so great, beyond imagining!

Please understand that I am NOT telling you to sin with all your might! Not at all!

On the contrary, the Cross of Christ is our motivation to live a holy life! “Be holy as I am holy.” (I Pet. 1:16)

Since He has been so loving, so gracious, so merciful, so forgiving, we strive to, by His Spirit’s power, become like Him, and when we sin, we repent and then rejoice that we don’t have to pay the punishment. Jesus already has!

And so, this summer, if I don’t make it on here to post soon,

SIN BOLDLY! :) Declare yourself to be sinful, redeemed, and forgiven! And this summer, may God change us into a more perfect reflection of Himself, no matter what pruning, refining and purging it may take! Bring it on!

AGAIN?????

“When Ehud was dead, the children of Israel again did evil in the sight of the LORD.” Judges 4:1

“Then the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the LORD. So the LORD delivered them into the hand of Midian for seven years, so Israel was greatly impoverished because of the Midianites, and the children of Israel cried out to the LORD.” Judges 6:1,6

“So it was, as soon as Gideon was dead, that the children of Israel again played the harlot with the Baals, and made Baal-Berith their god. Thus the children of Israel did not remember the LORD their God, who had delivered them from the hands of all their enemies on every side; nor did they show kindness to the house of Jerubbaal (Gideon) in accordance with the good he had done for Israel.” Judges 8:33-35


I’m studying the book of Judges in my personal worship time, and every time I read a verse like these, my heart sags. Not literally, of course, but you know the feeling! Again??? When will they get it? Can’t they see all He’s done for them? Is their memory that bad? Why don’t they understand that God is so much better than any other god?


Then I am filled with shame. Who am I to speak? When will I get it? Why do I often follow after “the pleasures of sin for a moment”? Can’t I see all that He has done for me? Is my memory that bad? Why don’t I understand that God is so much better than any other thing I set up in my heart as a god?

Even greater is my shame than those of the people of Israel. I have even more to remember. I, who deserved eternal punishment, and was not one of the chosen people of Israel, have been grafted into the family of God by His grace and His Son’s death on the cross. I, an enemy of God, was brought near and redeemed by no merit of my own. And NOW, after all this, His Spirit lives in me, guiding me, convicting me, illumining me, and giving me strength to live as Christ showed me how to live. AND Jesus is preparing an eternal home for me, where I shall dwell forever with Him!

And yet, I still sin.  Though I am a sinner, I cannot use that as a cop-out answer.


Romans 6:11 “Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”


Romans 6:13 “And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.”


Romans 7:3 “But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.”


Romans 8:5-8 “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.”

As a believer, I am dead to sin. Dead.  So now, every time I sin, it is a choice to follow the flesh. It’s not that I can’t help it, but that I choose to do it.


I want my sin to bother me as much as the Israelite’s sin bothers me in the book of Judges. May I see it for what it is: direct rebellion against God, choosing another God, missing the mark of God’s holiness.

It is my desire that my life be characterized by Judges 10:16 (“So they put away the foreign gods from among them and served the LORD.”) instead of Judges 10:6 (“Then the children of Israel again did evil in the sight of the LORD, and served the Baals … and they forsook the LORD and did not serve Him.”)


May my memory of Christ’s sacrifice compel me to serve Him and not to sin.

To think or not to think...

“Thoroughly worldly people never understand even the world, they rely altogether on a few cynical maxims which are not true.” –G.K. Chesterton

Isn't it sad that most "teenagers" cannot reason and think for themselves?  They are told what to believe and are not taught to question anything.  Questioning can be good and beneficial, for it is through questioning that we strengthen our beliefs because we really believe it.  Truths that we have always been told are true, become the Truth we cling to and are willing to die for, because we have been fully convinced that it is True.
Have I lost you already? 

I am one of those young people who thinks thinking is fun.  My parents have trained my to reason and to question, and to read good books which encourage me to do so.  I am in the process of reading G.K. Chesterton's Orthodoxy.  Some of my friends tell me that I overthink and overanalyze, but I am not convinced that is true.  I am more inclined to believe that they do not think enough.  In the book of Isaiah the LORD says, "Come, let us reason together." 
Matthew 10:16 "Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves." 
1Peter 1:13 "Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ;" 
1Peter 5:8 "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour."

It is much easier for Satan to devour those who do not think, who are not reasoning and sober.  If you merely float through life, accepting what comes to you (no matter the source), you will be easily devoured, without yourself even noticing. 

The public school is certainly not a place where children are encouraged to really reason and think. They know the "facts," but not all sides of the story or the reasoning behind it.  They are taught and trained what to think and how to think it.  Their minds are infiltrated on every side by lies and partial truths (read: lies) and they accept them, because, they're in school to learn, right? And yet, as the quote at the beginning of this post argues, they do not even understand the worldly mindset in which they are believing.

Instead of putting me into this environment, where my mind powers are dulled (as opposed to being sharpened as some advocates of this system would argue) my parents have chosen to educate and disciple me at home, where I am free to think and reason and question. 

Today my reasoning is expanding, so that which I believe to be unreasonable is becoming more reasonable, and wording that is considered quite boggling, is almost understandable. There's much to be said for reading things that most adults would consider confusing, and sifting my way through it, which does take brain exercise. For how can I become wise if I never go outside the limits of what I comprehend already? And how I can I seek to understand what is really worth understanding, if I do not seek to understand what I do not understand?

And yet, if I cling to reason alone, then I will go insane.  For reason itself is constrained in a very small, unexpandable circle.  Though my reasoning may make perfect sense, the fact that everything makes sense would drive me crazy, because that would make me self-sufficient.  There are things that I believe that are not strictly "reasonable". 

1Corinthians 1:18-25 says, "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written: "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, And bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent." Where is the wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the disputer of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?  For since, in the wisdom of God, the world through wisdom did not know God, it pleased God through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe.  For Jews request a sign, and Greeks seek after wisdom;  but we preach Christ crucified, to the Jews a stumbling block and to the Greeks foolishness, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God.  Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men."

Here's another quote from Orthodoxy:  "For the circle [of reason] is perfect and infinite in its nature, but it is fixed forever in its size; it can never be larger or smaller.  But the cross, though it has at its heart a collision and a contradiction, can extend its four arms forever without altering its shape.  Because it has a paradox at its center, it can grow without changing,  The circle returns to itself and is bound.  The cross opens its arms to the four winds; it is a signpost for free travellers."

Now, I am sorry if I have not made complete sense in this post (I still have a long way to go in my reasoning skills:) but I do not apologize if you think it unclear because you only skimmed over it.  In order to really learn from something, you must stop and think, really think and meditate, and it is then that the eyes of your understanding are opened. 

"The one created thing which we cannot look at is the one thing in the light of which we look at everything."

Open our eyes, Lord, that we may see!  Open our minds, so that we may comprehend more of how wonderful You are.  The Cross is both unreasonable and true, and it is the center of our faith.  Even though there are things we cannot completely understand, that doesn't mean we don't trust You, Father, but that we are excited to spend the rest of our lives seeking out Your incomprehensibility.

"The way we are going to think tomorrow depends largely on what we are thinking today." -Brown

If you found this post very dull, I would have to concur with what G.K. Chesterton said:
"Dulness will, however, free me from the charge I most lament; the charge of being flippant."