Looking back...and forward!

Another year has ended. A hard year. A wonderful year. I will never forget 2012.
As time goes on...priorities change. I only posted 7 times in the entire year and...I missed it. But I don't regret the things that made me busy this year or wish that things were different.
You see, God works in mysterious ways, so far above our own that we don't understand much of the time. At least for me, the times I get a glimpse of WHY are fewer than the times I must simply have faith without seeing at all.
This year, I went through the greatest trial thus far in my life. I wondered if God was really real. If  He was really in control. If He was really good. And if so...WHY do things like this happen?
This year, I have experienced some of the greatest joy thus far in my life. I wondered how I could ever have doubted God. I delighted in the blessings that I don't deserve. I marvelled that such a feeling of peace and joy could really be experienced. And if so...WHY do things like this happen?

GOD IS GOOD. 
That really is the story of this year for me. Life is hard! But life is beautiful and rewarding, because in the darkest alleys, on the sparkling beaches, and in the deep, cool forest...God remains the same.
His plan is always to make us more like His Son Jesus Christ so we can bring glory to Him. Sometimes He uses times of pain and trial. Sometimes times of blessing and joy. Even when we are faithless, He remains faithful, He cannot deny Himself!

I'm excited for 2013. I started it off next to my dear best friend, with many wonderful friends who love the Lord! I'm enjoying some time with my beloved family before school starts up again next week.
I honestly don't know what this year holds for me. There will probably be times of frustration and waiting. Of trusting and hoping. Of laughing and singing. Of being still before the Lord.
My prayer is that no matter what happens...I will make the most of every moment and that next year at this time...I will look more like Christ.

Life is Beautiful :)

Along the side of my blog, there is a listing of my most recent posts entitled "lately..." And the latest post is from February. Hmm...maybe it should be entitled, "Once upon when Sophie kept up on her blog she posted about..." :)

As I read my "latest" post, from the day I opened my birthday gifts, I am astonished at the grace of God in me writing that when I did. That VERY NIGHT, my life changed forever as my dad went into the hospital in the middle of the night and our family entered the darkest valley and trial we've ever experienced. And yet that night, I typed the words: I can grow through trials. I can sing in the rain, because I am not alone! I have a family and a God who love me and want the best for me!

God so graciously and faithfully brought us through that trial. He was still good in the darkest, hardest moments, and HE IS THAT SAME GOD today! I need Him just as much today as I did then, even though I don't have recognize that! He lovingly guides and directs my steps every day and His Word is my delight!

Since there are some of you who may not have heard from me since February (or before!), here are some highlights of what has gone on in my life since I dropped off the face of blogging world:)

I had the amazing opportunity to travel all summer with a singing group from my school, Faith Baptist Bible College! 

 I learned so much from my teammates as we traveled together for 11 weeks singing in churches, helping with conferences, encouraging the people of God, having fun together, and Lord willing, bringing glory to our God!

I am now a sophomore at FBBC and loving it! I am taking 17 academic credits, including Bible Doctrine, Music Theory, Office Procedures, and Women's Ministry Foundations. In addition, I am also involved in the choir and handbell ensemble.

Another thing that has been going on recently is...God brought a special young man into my life! The way the Lord has led in our lives is amazing and wonderful and I would love to write an entire post about sometime! But in a nutshell...Garth and I have many close mutual friends, and so have known each other casually for a few years. In January, the Lord brought the thought into his mind to pray about pursuing a relationship with me. So he talked with his parents and prayed for 4 months and then talked to my daddy in April about getting to know him better. While I traveled around the country singing and having no idea, my dear father and Garth talked on the phone, got together and PRAYED A LOT!
When I returned home in August, we went on a family vacation to Northern Minnesota. On the trip, Dad took me aside and told me about Garth's interest. I was amazed and agreed to pray about it. Since Garth had prayed about it so long and had peace about it, and my Daddy had vetted him out and approved of him, it didn't take me too long to agree as well. About a week later, Garth and his parents came over and ate supper with us. Two days later, we officially began courting on August 19th:)

It has been quite the lovely adventure! I am so blessed to be in an intentional, God-focused, parent-guided relationship with such a godly young man. He loves God with his whole heart and is an amazing example to me of what a consistent relationship with the Lord looks like.

I could say so much more...but that's a start:) God is good. All the time! I don't deserve the rich and manifold blessings He has given me, but I am so thankful. Life is beautiful. And I'm loving it!

Reflections on a Drizzly Day

Ahhh...deep breath. It is raining, 64 degrees, and I am drinking a Chai tea latte at the kitchen table of my home sweet home. I love days like this! It is my church's anniversary Sunday (16 years!) and we had an afternoon service, so no evening service. What a blessing! I needed a moment to pause, to consider, to catch up on study, to blog!

College life is going well! I am more busy than I anticipated or planned, but am enjoying it!  God is teaching me a lot about relying on His grace, and setting my mind on Him in the midst of a busy schedule!

Our God is a powerful God. He is eternal, unchanging, and perfectly holy in His very essence. He has always existed, and will always exist--which gives me the confidence to fully give Him my life! As I study in Bible college, I read the Bible, study the Bible, read commentaries on the Bible, take quizzes about the Bible ALL THE TIME! But do I love the Bible? Do I desire it above EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE? Do I yearn to be in it more, searching out what God has to say to me? Not as often as I should! But I want to want to want Him more every day! I yearn for Him to be my all-consuming passion, above good grades, friendships, family, and any other pursuits that may distract from my relationship with Him!

One of my all-time favorite passages is Philippians 3:7-14, which I will post here compliments of Bible Gateway!

"But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. 8 Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; 10 that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, 11 if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. 12 Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. 13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

I think I've finally come to the point that I could call this my life passage. Everything else fades away in the light of this desire!  Though I often fall short of this passion, this is where I want to be! Everything I listed before, all the temporary desires, are rubbish, literally DUNG! My good desires become wrong desires when they take the place of desiring Christ! 

Only Christ can satisfy my heart, overflowing my soul with peace, contentment, and joy! Oh, that I may be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, but His! Not clinging to "stuff", but counting them but loss! Not claiming perfection on my own accord, but pressing on to become like the One whom I love with all my soul! 

If my life is centered around these verses, even in busy times, I will not quit or be overwhelmed. What really matters is Christ. 

A Time of Transition

Hello friends!
I will refrain from apologizing about the length of time which has past since I last posted. This summer I was a cook at Iowa Regular Baptist Camp, as you may know if you've seen the "latest" post on my blog:) I spent eleven wonderful weeks learning and growing as I served the Lord.
There are so many things that I could share about my summer! But first I want to answer a popular question:

Q. If you were at camp all those weeks, when did you study for Bible Bee???
A. After much prayer, my parents and I decided that I would do Timothy Track this year. To be transparent with you all, this has been a matter of struggle for me. The Lord impressed on me that He wanted me to work full time at the camp that I've been working part time at for many years. I knew that this would mean some sort of sacrifice on my part, but I thought that perhaps I could still do National Track in the afternoons, or get up super early, or something! But the Lord made it clear that such a plan was not possible, while still giving my everything to the ministry at camp. Also, I start bible college on Monday, which would have made preparing for Nationals difficult if I had qualified. This was a hard decision to make. However, I trust that this is His will and am excited to have learned to 150 verses in Timothy Track! Even that was a challenge on a cook's schedule:)

So, that question answered, here's what my life is looking like right now. I am studying for Local Bible Bee (next Saturday!), unpacking from camp, and preparing for college, which begins in three days! 

I am thrilled to have the opportunity to live at home with my wonderful family and go to Faith Baptist Bible College in Ankeny, IA, where my dad works as a professor of music. I have lived around FBBC all my life, and it has always been my dream to be a student there. And now here I am.

I always thought I would feel older when I reached college age, but I don't:) As I buy a backpack, laptop, binders, and textbooks, I wonder where my life has gone!!!! What will my life be like in five years? Ten? The past few years of high school have flown by, and I know that life continues to pick up pace from here on out! 

One of the things that God taught me this summer is that my life is not about me. It's really not, folks. The way I use my time and invest my energy shows where my focus is. If my life is all about me, then I am serving the God of myself, and ultimately, sin and Satan. But if my life is all about bringing glory to God, then it should look differently!  My time should be spent in giving of myself to others, serving without selfish motivies. My witness should be bold and effective, since Christ is living in me and He is the desire of my heart!  My spirit should be joyful and sincere, because nothing I do is of my own strength, but because of His spirit who dwells in me!  My focus should be on eternity, because I have only approximately 80 years here, in which my flesh decays and I struggle with sin, but then! Oh the bliss! Freedom from death, from sorrow, from crying! Free from pain...the former things have passed away! 
Why would I want to live my life in such a way that I regret it for all eternity?

So my life is not my own. It belongs to my ONE MASTER, the Lord Jesus Christ. I am His slave. And it is a life full of abundant joy to be His slave!  The buck stops with Him, the power comes from Him, and the glory belongs to Him. I am just His messenger, His tool...and yet, I am His child, His friend. The thought takes my breath away.

That's what has been going on my life! Lord willing, from now on, I will be more consistent in posting, but if not...well, it's not about this blog either. As long as I'm bringing glory to Him with what I'm doing, I won't worry about it:)

As summer begins...

What? "last posted on May 5"???? Wow! I'm sorry everyone; time sure flies! 


Summer is here. At least it is for me:)  I leave on Tuesday for camp, where I will serving as a cook for eleven weeks! I am so excited and thrilled to see what God will do in and through me! I am praying that He will humble me, and change me more into His image--that no matter how tired I am...I will reflect His love and patience.


God is faithful. God is constant. God is unchangable. God never forgets or loses track of time! God's patience never grows too short. God never snaps at me when I fail, again. God is love. True, selfless love that sacrifices and looks out for the other's best interest. 
I so long to be more like Him! I fall so short! And yet, He loves me. He has proved it so that I can never doubt it! He has laid down His life for me, and calls me to do the same for those He brings into my life.


As a graduation gift from a dear friend, I received the book, The Valley of Vision, which is a collection of Puritan prayers. This morning I read one entitled "The All-Good." This paragraph stood out to me:
‎"That is an amazing thing to see Deity in a creature, speaking, acting, filling, shining through it; that nothing is good but Thee, that I am near good when I am near Thee, that to be like Thee is a glorious thing: this is my magnet, my attraction."

I might be posting again sometime in the future, we shall see:) But until I post again, God bless! Seek the Lord; may He be your magnet, your attraction.

(For lack of a better title) my life lately:)

I am sorry that I have been so woefully inconsistent with blogging lately. It has been and is a crazy time of year and of my life!
I finished school a week and a half ago, so that's WONDERFUL!
My graduation recital and open house is this Saturday, so the days have been (and will be through Saturday:) quite busy with preparation for that.
For the past several months, I've been compiling our family recipes into a cookbook, and we are in the final proofing stage! WAHOO! We hope to have a copy out at my open house so crunch time is here:)
This past weekend our youth group put on our annual Easter drama/musical, so we had practices for that at church. Also, on Saturday night, was our Junior/Senior Formal Banquet, which was a marvelous time!
Last week, also, was Holy Week, so we went to our first Passover Seder, and spent time meditating on what Christ has done for us! Our lives have the potential to be so wonderful because of what Christ completed at the cross! It is only our stubbornness and pride that keep us from fully enjoying the things God has given us to do:)
Because of the Cross and the Empty Tomb...I can live a hopeful, vibrant life! Crazy times of life like these shouldn't leave me with a bittersweet taste afterward because LIFE IS WORTH THE LIVING! I have a future ahead of me that has been perfectly planned since before the dawn of time! I am excited to see what this future will hold.
God has been faithful through all my years of home schooling. He will continue to be faithful in the next phase of my life...whatever that will look like:)
"The mind of man plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps." Proverbs 16:9

I AM HIS, AND HE IS MINE

“All are yours, and you are of Christ, and Christ is of God.” 1 Corinthians 3:22-23

---

Words: George W. Ro bin son, 1876.

Music: Ev er last ing Love, James Mount ain, 1876 (MI DI, score). Mount ain wrote the tune for these lyr ics so the hymn could be in clud ed in the first edi tion of his Hymns of Con se cra tion and Faith.

---

Loved with everlasting love, led by grace that love to know;
Gracious Spirit from above, Thou hast taught me it is so!
O this full and perfect peace! O this transport all divine!
In a love which cannot cease, I am His, and He is mine.
In a love which cannot cease, I am His, and He is mine.

Heav’n above is softer blue, Earth around is sweeter green!
Something lives in every hue Christless eyes have never seen;
Birds with gladder songs o’erflow, flowers with deeper beauties shine,
Since I know, as now I know, I am His, and He is mine.
Since I know, as now I know, I am His, and He is mine.

Things that once were wild alarms cannot now disturb my rest;
Closed in everlasting arms, pillowed on the loving breast.
O to lie forever here, doubt and care and self resign,
While He whispers in my ear, I am His, and He is mine.
While He whispers in my ear, I am His, and He is mine.

His forever, only His; Who the Lord and me shall part?
Ah, with what a rest of bliss Christ can fill the loving heart!
Heav’n and earth may fade and flee, firstborn light in gloom decline;
But while God and I shall be, I am His, and He is mine.
But while God and I shall be, I am His, and He is mine.

What beautiful thoughts! What an encouragement to my soul!

WHO THE LORD AND MEE SHALL PART!

WHAT BLISS to KNOW MY GOD!

HE HAS FILLED ME WITH JOY AND GIVEN ME LIFE ABUNDANT!

"O to lie forever here" - there is a perfect rest for the people of God, which we have access to always!

Everything is brighter, better, sweeter, with Jesus! And in times when things are not so bright, we have no need to fear or worry, because we are united with Christ! 

Forever will not be long enough for me to tire of this perfect, blissful rest...

The Daily Grind

Yesterday I began the first day of my last semester of high school...and I find that I am ready to be done with school forever and ever! :) But I know that my attitude will not change toward my tasks for the rest of my life, if NOW I choose to think of them as grueling, miserable wastes of time!
So....
My goal is to wake up every morning with a love for God and for the life He's given me; to be filled with excitement for the day ahead and the opportunities to praise Him that may arise! But so often, this is not the case. So often I wake up and think, "Lord, I don't want to get up! Let me sleep another hour!"
I need to deprive myself of sleep, and be diligent in what I MUST do.  I MUST have a joy in doing my tasks and revel in "whatever I do, bringing glory to God." Every thought a prayer, every act a sacrifice, every word a song of praise!
May math be my incense, government my melody, and laundry...my humble ministration of service to You!
I don't want to look back on these days and months as a waste, as a time when I went through the motions. May I look back and remember the devotion to my God that permeated EVERY AREA of my day, every area of my life!
Soli Deo Gloria!

Ponderings...

2011 sounds rather...surreal. I really don't know what this year will hold. Sure, I have my plans, but I know that those may change and it is the Lord who holds the guidebook and determines my steps.
In ten years, will I look back at this year as one of great joy? Sorrow? Achievement? Growth?  Disappointments? I cannot know. But I know the One who holds the future, and life is worth the living, just because HE LIVES!
When my family was singing in the new year together, we sang "May the mind of Christ my Savior." It has become one of my favorite songs, really, a prayer from my heart to Adonai's ear. May this song be our prayer as we embark on a new year, in which He knows every detail that will take place!

May the mind of Christ, my Savior,
Live in me from day to day,
By His love and power controlling
All I do and say.

May the Word of God dwell richly
In my heart from hour to hour,
So that all may see I triumph
Only through His power.

May the peace of God my Father
Rule my life in everything,
That I may be calm to comfort
Sick and sorrowing.

May the love of Jesus fill me
As the waters fill the sea;
Him exalting, self abasing,
This is victory.

May I run the race before me,
Strong and brave to face the foe,
Looking only unto Jesus
As I onward go.

May His beauty rest upon me,
As I seek the lost to win,
And may they forget the channel,
Seeing only Him.

Day 24: It's Christmas Eve!!!!!

As I consider that I only have today and tomorrow left to post carols, I'm debating as to which carol to use today!  There are several that I haven't used yet (crazy, I know!) and I already know which one I'm using tomorrow. So I have decided on this song by Johann Sebastian Bach in the Christmas Oratorio, which was unfamiliar to me, but you might know it:)

1. Beside the cradle here I stand
O Thou that ever livest
Accept me, 'tis my mind and heart
My soul, my strength, my ev'ry part
That thou from me requirest

2. And bring Thee with a willing hand
The very gifts Thou givest
Accept me, 'tis my mind and heart
My soul, my strength, my ev'ry part
That thou from me requirest.
(view original post here.)

With Christmas being tomorrow (!!!!!), this carol is very appropriate as we consider our heart toward our Savior.  


When I was younger, I used to picture myself running to the manger and worshipping Baby Jesus, and feeling ashamed that I had nothing to give Him.  And then singing, "What can I give Him, poor as I am, if I were a shepherd I would bring a lamb, if I were a wise man, I would do my part, but what can I give Him? Give Him my heart."
And now, I kneel before Him again.  I see my insignificance and poverty of soul in light of His majesty.  But now, does my heart resist being offered? It is my only possession! How can I give it up? My will, my desires, my everything...can I really give them to this baby?

O my God, do not let me grow stubborn and resistant in my soul.  I know that Christmas is all about Your Gift--Your only Son, because You loved me. Me--who has resisted at every turn, who would never have loved you unless You have loved me first. Love so amazing, so divine DEMANDS my soul, my life, my all!  "Accept me, 'tis my mind and heart, my soul, my strength, my ev'ry part" - it's Yours, Lord. I give it all. Magnify yourself through me this Christmas, and throughout all of my life, which is Yours to use as You will. 


Let's kneel before Him this Christmas and give back the gift of our lives to Him again. 

Day 12: In the Bleak Midwinter

In the Bleak Midwinter

Words: Chris­ti­na Ros­set­ti, 1872; she wrote these words in re­sponse to a re­quest from the mag­a­zine Scrib­ner’s Month­ly for a Christ­mas po­em.
Music: Cranham, Gus­tav T. Holst, 1906 (MI­DI, score).

In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan,
Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow,
In the bleak midwinter, long ago.

Our God, Heaven cannot hold Him, nor earth sustain;
Heaven and earth shall flee away when He comes to reign.
In the bleak midwinter a stable place sufficed
The Lord God Almighty, Jesus Christ.

Enough for Him, whom cherubim, worship night and day,
Breastful of milk, and a mangerful of hay;
Enough for Him, whom angels fall before,
The ox and ass and camel which adore.

Angels and archangels may have gathered there,
Cherubim and seraphim thronged the air;
But His mother only, in her maiden bliss,
Worshipped the beloved with a kiss.

What can I give Him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb;
If I were a Wise Man, I would do my part;
Yet what I can I give Him: give my heart.

I was thinking of this carol today since it FINALLY snowed here in Iowa, and doused us with snow and ice so that we cannot leave our dwellings! Church was cancelled, and so here I sit. "Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow" :)

Verse 2 gives me shivers. Heaven cannot hold our God, and yet a stable could suffice? That was enough for Him?

I cannot give Him starry hosts, or lightning bolts, or snow, or great sea creatures, or mountains, or even rain clouds, but what I can give Him is more important to Him than any of these things!  He created me in His image and for some specific purpose!  And now, I can give my life back to Him, for His purpose and glory! 

From turkeys to candy canes...

Thanksgiving was a marvelous time of rejoicing and good fellowship with friends and family. I am truly so blessed.  I look around at the faces in the grocery store and on the street and in the cars around me, and I know that I have something that they do not.
Thanksgiving to them is an excuse to get off work, gorge yourself, then plop on the couch and watch football. To me, it is a day in which I thank the God Who loves me and has done so much for me for His Love and all He has done.  It is a special day set apart to honor our Maker, to prevent our forgetting His blessings.
But everyday I can thank Him! Every day I can praise Him for His goodness and His blessings to me, such a poor sinner.

And now, in a few short days, our view has changed from Thanksgiving to Christmas.  Our home has been transformed into a winter wonderland with red bows, evergreen branches, and shimmering gold angels.  My little siblings made Christmas countdowns to hang on their wall.  Many thousands of people descended on the stores to snatch up a great deal. Christmas parties and programs are announced at church.  The kids bring Mom and Dad their Christmas lists.  Every where, Christmas lists appear on houses.  In the stores, it's Christmas music everywhere. "It's beginning to look ALOT like Christmas..."

What is it about Christmas that excites us so?  With the world around us so focused on the temporal, materialistic things, how can we keep our focus on the reason for Christmas, the birth of our Savior?

I'm mulling all this over, and will post my theories soon:)

O Come, O Come Emmanuel!

So much to be thankful for....

Thanksgiving is two days away!  Unbelievable! The year 2010 is almost coming to a close.
I know that we should not be thankful ONLY at Thanksgiving, but I am thankful for the reminder:) It is one of those things I often forget.
So at these time of year, I make it a point to INTENTIONALLY and PURPOSEFULLY remember what I have to be thankful for.

• My God and Heavenly Father--Who He is: His Essence and Attributes, What He has done, What He is doing, and What He will do in the future!
• My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ-Who is God and yet came in the form of a servant, in the likeness of man, with the sole purpose of redeeming those who would believe in His perfect life, His miracles, His words, His sacrificial death, His magnificent resurrection, His ascension to the Right hand of God, His Intercession on my behalf before God, and His Imminent resurrection of the believing dead and snatching up of the believers who are alive and remain
• A 100% guaranteed eternal life with my God!
• The Helper, the Holy Spirit- Whom the Father sent to comfort, illumine, protect, remind, strengthen, empower and encourage me, Who helps me in my weakness when I do not know what to pray for as I ought
• The Word of God--His VERY WORDS--which is my guidebook, treasure, and song; in which every word is profitable, and it gives me all I need to life and godliness; it is a fountain deep, in which I could dive forever and never reach the bottom; a lamp to my feet, showing me where I err, and a light to my path, showing me where to go;  it is a living and powerful sword, piercing into the very center of who I am, showing me the truth of my sin, and yet my position in Christ: justified; it never returns void, accomplishes what it pleases, and prospers in the thing for which it was sent; it will never pass away; it is Truth, by which I can know Christ and be found in Him; it is my joy and my heart's delight
• The Creation of God- which bears witness to a perfect, holy, creative God Who desired a universe that reflected His majesty to bring glory to His name; for the heavens--full of stars, planets, galaxies, solar systems; for the sky--full of clouds, sending forth rain and snow, lightning and thunder; for the beauty of the earth--the trees, flowers, mountains, grasses, valleys, rivers, oceans, waterfalls, volcanos, caves, and deep water trenches; for the creatures--of every shape and size--insects, elephants, birds, bats, spiders, butterflies, dogs, cats, penguins, lizards, frogs, beavers, hedgehogs, moles, giraffe, deer, mice, eagles, ants, fish, dolphins, whales, squids, and starfish;  for the men made in His image--who speak in thousands of tongues, look completely different from one another but have His image in common, and who have this creation clearly manifest to them, so that they are without excuse.
• My parents --who love God with all their heart soul and mind, and teach His words to their children diligently, while they sit in their house, when they walk by the way, when they lie down and when they rise up; who desire that their children be rooted and grounded in the ways of the Lord, so that when they are old, they will not depart from it
• My four sisters--all of whom are dear treasures and pillars in the house of God; who are all walking the narrow way, seeking to become women of virtue and excellence, being conformed to the image of His Son.
• My two little brothers--for the joy and humor they bring to my life!  For their deep thoughts and tender hearts; for their desire to serve God with their lives and "tell people about Jesus;"  for their delight in small things that escape my notice
• My extended family--who love God and are such a delight to be with; for our many times of laughter, sharing, and happiness
• My friends--of whom there are so many who encourage and rebuke me, laugh and cry with me, trust me enough to share their hearts and their sincerity in listening to and praying for me
• My church family-who, for the past six years, have been so supportive and encouraging; from whom I have learned so much and cherish them all
• My warm house--where I know I am always at home
• Bountiful food--of which there is always enough
• Clean, fresh water--because I know so many don't have it
• Plenty of clothes--more than I need
• Good health--I cannot take this for granted when so many are sick and struggle with lifelong diseases
• Opportunites to serve and bless others that I may reflect to them Christ, my Savior
• Freedom and prosperity in this country--which so many of my brothers and sisters in Christ do not have; 
• For the heritage of faith that was the foundation of this country; for those who have sacrificed everything that I might live in this freedom; for those brave men and women who were willing to travel to a foreign land so that they and their posterity might be free to worship as they please, which is why I can publicly post this blog and say, without fear, that I am a follower of Jesus Christ, bound to live and die in for Him, no matter what happens.  

And if some day, I am not able to have the "temporal things" on this list, I will still be grateful, "for I know whom I believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that day."

I KNOW that He is Faithful, and I will always have something to be thankful for.

Holding on and Moving on

It has already been a week since the National Bible Bee Contest 2010 in Schaumburg, Illinois. To those of you who prayed for me, again, I am so thankful.   I felt so covered in prayer throughout the contest--it was such an encouragement! And those of you who participated this year, Bravo!

I created a new page, Bible Bee 2010, which tells all about my experience in this year's competition and what that meant to me.  It's so long that I decided to create a page rather than a very, very, very, very, very long post:)

But now that it has been a week since the competition, I think it is appropriate to consider the "what now?" question.  After five months of intense memorization and study in the Word of God, and the roller coaster of emotions which go along with it, there is a sense in which I feel a let down.   I miss it already.

This post is especially for those who participated in the Bible Bee, but even if you didn't, there are some valuable principles applicable to everyone.

Even if you didn't participate in the Bible Bee, I'm sure you have felt such an emotion before.  You look forward to it, dread it, work toward it, anticipate it, experience it...and then it's over.  You are rather dazed, wondering if it really happened or if it was just a dream.  You can grow rather listless and aimless and feel purposeless.

This is how I felt last year and how I'm tempted to feel again this year. Math doesn't bring the same fulfillment as memorizing 1 Peter 1.  Civics is hard to grasp after The Book of Colossians.  Laundry definitely does not fill the place of cross references.

So, what now? How can we glean from the many rewards, savoring the memories and lessons learned, and yet not be stuck looking backwards and wishing we were still in the thick of it?

What I have learned about this concept of resisting the "let down" is the principle of holding on to some things and moving on to others.

There are so many things about the Bible Bee to "hold on" to:

-Time in the Word of God - if I added up the hours I spent in the Bible the past five months, the number would be overwhelming!  But I don't want this to be something of the past, but a characteristic of my future.  Through these months, the Word of God has grown precious and essential in my life.  The Spirit has shown me so many new things, but He doesn't just do that through the Bee, He does that through the Bible.  When we come before Him with the same humble, seeking heart, the eyes of are understanding are enlightened.  Even more so now, without the pressure of the competition, we can delve the depths of His Word and rest in His promises!

-Memory of the Word - keep up your verses!  The same verses you have labored over and perfected can too quickly fade from your memory.  Review, review, review.  Ask God to give you the desire to retain them, and the energy to keep them fresh and alive!
But also, learn new material!  The Bible Bee, though a large number of verses, is such a small percentage of the whole Word of God!  Don't let the competition be the only reason you memorize.  Make it a pattern for all of your life!  Now you can choose what you memorize, an epistle, a psalm, a chapter of Genesis?  The Bible is God's treasure chest of HIS TRUTH: there is no wrong choice to memorize as long as you choose something!

-The Friendships made - The fellowship with other believers at the National Bible Bee is incredible!  Keep up with those friends that you met and exchanged email and snail-mail addresses with--they have a like passion for the Word and could be lifelong friends!

Then the things to "move on" to:

-Are there things that you have neglected during Bible Bee that you need to spend time on? A friend you haven't been able to spend time with, a skill or hobby that you can develop, a chore that has started to escape your notice, an attitude that you didn't "have the time" to seek the Lord's help about?  Now, when your heart is tender, make the choice to redeem the time.  Resist listlessness and do good!
-Is there a way you can bless your parents/family for their support and encouragement? How many times have you said thank you? Instead of them resenting your "let-down," demonstrate what the Lord has done in your heart by being cheerful, helpful, and useful.
-Pray!  The Sword Study emphasized prayer so much and often, we must make it our consistent discipline.  Do not lose sight of the power and privilege of being able to come boldly before the throne of the Almighty God, who gives us access because we are His children, justified through Jesus Christ!

Above all, do not let these disciplines become something you just do "during Bible Bee."  The creators of Bible Bee didn't just want to develop a really excellent competition, they wanted to instill in us a passion for the Word of God that would characterize the rest of our lives.  Shelby Kennedy led a consistent, faithful life of service, study, memorization and joy.  Wouldn't it be incredible to be known for the same? Don't you want your life to have the same kind of ripple affect?


Even more importantly, we want everything we do to bring glory and honor to our God, the Author of the Word which we love!  I pray that the National Bible Bee will always be a landmark in each one of our lives, not as a hindrance, but as a jumpstart to our spiritual lives!


Consider and pray what the Lord would have you do.  Do not allow yourself to become a victim of the post-Bible-Bee-blues, but cherish the memories, continue the disciplines, and be faithful in everything the Lord sends your way!

"That you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God." Colossians 1:10

beneath my feet

beneath my feet

these crunching leaves

the flaking pieces of a tree that could no longer hold on

void of life

beneath my feet

this hard-worn path

footprints made by travelers with no direction but the next step

leading nowhere

beneath my feet

this earthen ground

where man’s remains are buried for no one to find

no more to live

beneath my feet

convulsing sphere

spinning in space controlled by a force I can’t fully understand

unexplained rhythm

beneath my feet

all I’ve ever known

death and decay caused by the choices of mankind

world with an end

beneath my feet

there is no hope

but my soul is bound to a place where death and decay can never reach

life without end

by Sophia LaFleur

October 1, 2008

Longing for God

Sometimes I look at this new blog post and wonder, "why am I doing this? Why would anyone read something that I have written?" There are times when I am so overwhelmed by my human, fallen condition. I CANNOT do good. As some of you may know, I am reading in Psalm 119. There are many times I read the cries of the psalmist and think, "I am not there right now, but I SO DESIRE TO BE!" "I open my mouth and pant, because I long for your commandments." "My zeal consumes me, because my foes forget your words." "My eyes are awake before the watches of the night, that I may meditate on your promise." Wow. I feel undone. Small. Pathetic. Babyish. My desires and prayers are often so small. I don't long deeply enough. But I want to, you know? There is a part of my soul, the inner Sophie, that is crying out to KNOW GOD! "To be found in Him," to find my rest in Him alone. And that is where He wants me to be. I cannot even make myself want Him more. It is only by His Spirit's work in my heart and through humbling myself before God and by listening to His voice through Scripture that He draws me to Himself. It is not as if He is keeping me at arm's length. It is my own sin that keeps me back from a closer relationship with my God. And how He wants to break down that barrier! "I call to you; save me, that I may observe your testimonies." "Your testimonies are righteous forever; GIVE ME UNDERSTANDING, THAT I MAY LIVE." "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him." James 1:5 Lord, You are worthy of much more adoration and love than my sinful soul can muster. Fill me with Your Spirit that I may live and exalt Your name. I long to know You more fully and more deeply. Crush the sin that is so prevalent in my heart and rid me of the fleshly desires that stand between my soul and Your heart. Humble me, tear me apart, that You may put me together again in such a way that You Alone are Lord of my life and King of my heart. You are the Way, the Truth and the Life. "Give me life according to Your words."

Loving the Word

Do I really love the Word of God? Do I delight in it, take comfort in it, rejoice in it, hope in it, long for it, trust in it, observe it, run in the way of it, meditate on it, declare it, seek it, treasure it, fix my eyes on it, and not forget it? It's hard to respond truthfully to that question. Sometimes I do pursue the Word with my whole self, and other times...well, I consider a task, a duty. I'm studying Psalm 119, and in awe of my own lack of passion. Daily I read the words and then go back and read them again, because the depth of the psalmist's desire is worth at least a second read through. If I really lived this psalm, my every thought, desire, hope, awaking in the night, and song would be the Words of the Promise of God. I fall short of that mark. Don't we all? And yet, we are not to be oblivious to the world around us, humming our way through life. The Word is not just a book, it is alive and it has a purpose: that we may know God, both Who He Is and What He has Done, and be changed by a relationship with Him! When we read the Scriptures, the Holy Spirit prods us, illumines us, and convicts us. "This blessing has fallen to me, that I have kept Your precepts." (Psalm 119:56 ESV) I got out another version, because I couldn't quite understand what this verse was saying. "This has become mine, that I observe Your precepts." (Psalm 119:56 NASB) I want this to be my view of my relationship with the commandments of God. It is my blessing, my treasure to know what my God wants from me, and to do it. That is mine. But it is also available to everyone who reads this Word and is changed by it. "For I find my delight in Your commandments, which I love." (v. 47) And this is what I want to be able to say, wholeheartedly and sincerely! May we develop habits and patterns of delighting in the Word and living it out, genuinely reflecting our God and His words, which we love!

Wisdom calls, and who listens?

Proverbs 8: 5-21, 32-36
O simple ones, learn prudence; O fools, learn sense!Hear, for I will speak noble things, and from my lips will come what is right, for my mouth will utter truth; wickedness is an abomination to my lips.All the words of my mouth are righteous; there is nothing twisted or crooked in them. They are all straight to him who understands, and right to those who find knowledge. Take my instruction instead of silver, and knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is better than jewels, and all that you may desire cannot compare with her. "I, wisdom, dwell with prudence, and I find knowledge and discretion. The fear of the LORD is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate.  I have counsel and sound wisdom; I have insight; I have strength.  By me kings reign, and rulers decree what is just;  by me princes rule, and nobles, all who govern justly. I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.  Riches and honor are with me, enduring wealth and righteousness.  My fruit is better than gold, even fine gold, and my yield than choice silver.  I walk in the way of righteousness, in the paths of justice, granting an inheritance to those who love me, and filling their treasuries."And now, O sons, listen to me: blessed are those who keep my ways.  Hear instruction and be wise, and do not neglect it.  Blessed is the one who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting beside my door. For whoever finds me finds life and obtains favor from the LORD, but he who fails to find me injures himself; all who hate me love death."
Do you love wisdom?Do you seek after it daily, watching at it's gates, waiting, listening, seeking it diligently?Nothing you desire can compare with her. She can fill your treasuries and grant you a beautiful inheritance (Ps. 16:6).  

"Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdomwill be delivered." Prov. 28:26

"Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is." Eph. 5:17

The Life of Wings

This is an excerpt from Hannah Whitall's, "The Christian's Secret to a Happy Life." I hope it will be a blessing to you as it has been to me.

This “Cry for wings” is as old as humanity. Our souls were made to “mount up with wings” and can never be satisfied with anything short of flying. Like the captive-born eagle that feels the instinct of flight, and chafes and frets at its imprisonment, hardly knowing what it longs for, so do our souls cry out for freedom. We can never rest on earth, and long to “fly away” from all that so holds, hampers, and imprisons us here. We try to escape by running east or west, north or south, ignorantly thinking to get away from trouble; and often discover we have run from a lion only to meet a bear or be bitten by a serpent in our place of supposed safety. We might name our wings Surrender and Trust. By these, we’re carried into a spiritual plane of the “life hid with Christ in God,” a life utterly independent of circumstances, that no cage can imprison and no shackles bind. Things look very differently to the caterpillar, creeping along the ground, once its wings are developed and it soars in the air as a butterfly. Similarly, the crawling soul that has "mounted up with wings” will see things in a new way. To overcome means to “come over,” not be crushed under; and the soul on wings flies over the world and the things of it. They lose their power to hold or bind the spirit that is made in very truth “more than conqueror." Birds overcome the lower law of gravitation by the higher law of flight; the soul on wings overcomes the lower law of sin and misery and bondage, by the higher law of spiritual flying, the “law of the spirit of life in Christ Jesus.” Why do not all Christians triumph? They do not mount up with wings, but live on the same low level with their circumstances, powerless against trials and sorrows, overcome by and crushed under them. A friend once told me the difference between three of her friends. She said if all three should come to a spiritual mountain, the first would tunnel through it with hard and wearisome labor; the second would meander around it, hardly knowing where she was going, yet because her aim was right, she would get around it a at last; the third, would just flap her wings and fly right over it. If any of us try to tunnel through or meander around mountains in our way, we must rise into the clear atmosphere of God’s presence, where it will be easy to overcome. The largest wings cannot lift a bird one inch upward unless they are used. We must use the wings we already have: Surrender and Trust, or they will avail us nothing. From high places we shall see things through the eyes of Christ that change our lives! Instead of stirring up strife and bitterness, we will escape by simply spreading our wings and mounting up to where our eyes see all things covered with a mantle of Christian love and pity. If either Surrender or Trust are wounded, we cannot fly. No earthly bars can imprison the soul, only barriers between us and the Lord from doubt and some indulged sin. The Lord warded of this danger in the story of those so burdened by earthly cares they could not come to the great supper. The flying I mean is a principle. Although joyous emotion may accompany, flying does not depend on it, just on entire surrender and absolute trust. A great deal of emotional flying is life a feather driven upward by a strong puff of wind, then fluttering down when the wind ceases. The Promise is sure: “They that wait upon the Lord SHALL mount up with wings as eagles.” Not “may perhaps mount up” but SHALL! May we prove it for ourselves.

The Simply, Easy, Difficult, Wonderful Life

"Take my yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly and heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Matt. 11:29-30

My mom likes to say, "Just because something is simple, doesn't mean that it is easy." For a long time I didn't really get it. Simple and easy are synonyms, right? Simple means that it is easy to understand.  Easy means that it is not difficult to do. 

The Christian life is simple, it is not too difficult to understand.  Jesus died that we may have life and that we may have it more abundantly. He took our punishment, so that we may live through His Spirit, defeating sin and death by the cross. Since He did that, we are no longer bound under sin.  We are dead to it.  We have Christ's power within us to overcome temptation.  We are more than conquerors when we live in Him.

And yet....it's not easy.  It's difficult, because we are still sinners, though redeemed.  We have every opportunity and resource to overcome the Devil, and yet, often, we don't. "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."  We succomb to that which has no power over us anymore.  Jesus says that His yoke is easy and His burden is light.  The weight of sin is heavy, unbearable, and He offers His easy yoke (it is easy and light because He is carrying it, not us!)  but we often try to carry both.  "No one can serve two masters."  "A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways." 

The concept is simple.  The practice is not easy.  But it is possible.  It is by His Power alone.  When we try to sanctify ourselves, to resist temptation, to be strong in weaknesses, then we fail.  But when we admit before God, over and over, every day, every moment, "Father God, I can't do this!" It is then that that our burden is easy and light, because we're not carrying it anymore!

It's simple. "Pray that you enter not into temptation!"  Give it over to the Lord, be broken before Him, and He takes the burden of living. 
Life still won't be easy, but you don't have to bear it alone, my friends. 

Romans 8:26 "Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses."

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 "And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For when I am weak, then I am strong!"